


Not Until You're Thinking of Me

by rebellious_rabbit



Category: The Grisha Trilogy - Leigh Bardugo
Genre: #feminism, Aleksander asked Alina out on a date in 11th grade..., Alina is done taking crap from people, Alternate Universe- Modern Setting - Freeform, Did I mention how irritating the google docs app can be?, F/M, Hope you enjoy, I hope none of you liked Mal...:0, Im writing this entire thing on my iphone, Ivan might show up we'll see, Nikolai is sssoooo insufferable, Nikolai's teal frock coat is a must, Some Swearing, a visit from our favorite set of fighting twins, alina is a strong independent woman, and he got DENIED, but that's why we love him :p, ice cream and movies, more tags to be added later, ok yeah we all knew that, please comment (constructive critics are appreciated), seriously she's DONE, slow-burn, surprise! Nikolai owns a boat, thats it for now...thumbs are tired
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-22
Updated: 2018-01-15
Packaged: 2018-12-18 21:44:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11883432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rebellious_rabbit/pseuds/rebellious_rabbit
Summary: Alina's life as an art student in Chicago after she gets a fabulous opportunity to study abroad. Mal proves to be a selfish jerk. Nikolai tries to win her over. Aleksander tries to win her over. Mal tries to win her back. Sounds great....But everyone has an agenda.





	1. Don't Bother Coming Back

Alina held her breath as she took the envelope between her hands. It was thick and heavy- maybe that was a good sign. In her head, she slowly counted to ten and tore it open. She narrowly missed ripping the packet of papers inside. As it was, there was already a large crease running through them at a jagged angle.

She did her best to smooth the papers out, and then peeked open one eye to read the first lines on the page.

\----------------------------------------------  
To Alina Starkov,

We are pleased to inform you that after your application and interview, you have been selected to study abroad for the upcoming semester. If you choose to accept this opportunity, please fill out the enclosed packet and mail in to the office of….  
\-----------------------------------------------

Alina let out a very undignified squeal and immediately began to imagine herself spending her days studying art in Paris. She'd applied for this opportunity months ago, but had always assumed it was a long shot. Alina had enough experience with getting her hopes up (like that unfortunate time she tried to be a cartographer, only to be clearly shown up by a high school student named Alexei) that she had refused to even tell her friends she had applied. 

Her friends! She had to tell them! Alina searched around her kitchen for her phone only to find it sitting haphazardly in a potted plant. Now how did it get there? She wondered absently as her fingers danced across the screen, typing out a quick message to Genya and Zoya. 

Her thumb hovered over the send button as she reread her message, and a thought struck her. Mal. She had to tell Mal first. He had always been her biggest cheerleader when it came to her art, so it was only right that he be the first to know. 

Alina deleted her unsent message to Zoya and Genya and set about typing one to Mal:

<< hey, I've got some news. When r u getting home?

>> sry not for awhile… can u just tell me?

<< nice try <3 how bout I meet u 4 dinner?

>> sounds good. Txt me details in a lil bit?

<< it's a date :)

\-----------------------------------------------

Alina stepped out of the cab and paid the driver. For a moment, Alina just stood, frozen in place, staring up at the name of the restaurant. It was a popular chain, and there had been one in Portland, where she and Mal had grown up. Mal had taken her there for their first date, and it had been absolutely magical.

Things with Mal hadn't been quite so perfect in the last year and a half. Ever since she'd been accepted to art school in Chicago, and decided to move, Mal had been distant. She could tell he wanted things to be the same, but he acted like she owed him something because he followed her across the country instead of pursuing his dream job in Oregon. 

Alina could see his point, but she hadn't made him do anything. In fact, she'd wanted to try the relationship long-distance. Mal might have listened to her, but at that exact moment, (Alina's timing was truly the worst) Alina had stupidly decided to tell Mal that if he was worried about her living in a city with such a high crime rate, Aleksander would be there to watch out for her since he'd also been accepted to college in Chicago.

Mal didn't take the news the way she'd intended it. Aleksander had asked Alina out on a date once, in the 11th grade, before she and Mal started dating, but Alina had turned him down. Mal was convinced that Aleksander would be doing a lot more with Alina than just watching out for her, and he insisted on coming to Chicago with her.

Alina sighed and shook herself free of her thoughts. Glancing up again at the lit-up sign for the restaurant, she made a silent wish that this night would be just as magical as their first date.

\-----------------------------------------------

Mal was late. Alina was disappointed, but not really surprised. Mal worked as a catcher for a dog pound, and once he caught sight of a loose pooch, he put everything on hold until he caught it. Hopefully he wouldn't be too much longer.

From her vantage point in her booth, Alina watched a seemingly endless trickle of customers coming through the doors, scanning for Mal’s face. 

The waiter came by and asked to take her drink order. Her eyes scanned the menu, and she ordered a glass of red wine. 

Out of the corner of her eye, Alina saw a tall man walk through the entryway, and she snapped her head up thinking it was Mal. Her face fell, when she saw the man, and she began to wonder how she had ever thought he looked like Mal.

For one, he had light hair and bright eyes, where Mal’s were dark and brown, and the stranger had on the most ridiculous teal coat that reached past his knees and hung around his wrists in large, dangling cuffs. 

The man checked his watch and started to walk in her direction without waiting for the hostess to seat him. Alina assumed he was meeting someone sitting in a booth behind her, but when she looked back up from her menu, he was leaning on her table. 

She stared up at him with an eyebrow raised. He just stared back.

“What?” she finally asked, with more than a bit of annoyance in her voice.

“Nothing important love, just wanted to make sure you were human. I don't think I've ever seen someone’s face dissolve into disappointment quite as spectacularly as yours did when you looked up and saw me.” 

“I-” Alina was truly stumped for words. Was this guy extremely arrogant, or just exceedingly bad with pickup lines?

He took her silence as an invitation to continue talking, sliding into the seat across from her.

Oh Saints, she had to get him out of this booth before Mal walked in and saw him there, or her relationship wouldn't last the weekend.

“I thought you were someone else.” she replied, with an unexpected smoothness.

“Oh? Waiting for someone then? Me too. Let's both hope our dates show, or we might have to have dinner with each other.” His eyes went wide with mock panic, and he put a hand to his chest. Alina found herself having to fight and restrain the urge to laugh.

Wanting to look anywhere but his eyes, Alina studied the rest of his face. The man was younger than she'd first thought, maybe just a few years older than she was. He had loose, blonde locks of hair framing his face, and something about him reminded Alina of a fox. As she took in the rest of his face, she was drawn to his striking hazel eyes.

Oh no, she was staring at his eyes. And he was staring back.

For a moment, neither of them moved. They just stared.

Then the fox gave a start, and glanced away. 

“Well it looks like you won the staring contest." He quipped, "Well done, I've never been beaten before.” 

“Maybe it's time someone taught you some humility.” She responded, her voice dry, and flat.

The fox looked as though he was about to return the quip, the ever-present smirk visible on his face, but he darted a glance over his shoulder towards the entryway, whispered a quick “wish me luck” and slipped out of the booth.

Alina watched as he made his way to a booth in the back of the restaurant, about 20 feet away from hers. Then she turned around to follow his gaze to the entryway, where Mal had just walked in, and was talking to the hostess.

Alina half rose from the booth, the backs of her knees brushing awkwardly against the edge of her seat, and waved until Mal caught her eye. The hostess grabbed a menu for him and followed him to the table.

As Mal sat down across from her, Alina’s eyes swept across him. She took in the long scratches and claw marks on his arms that must have come from a particularly uncooperative stray. Perhaps that was why he'd been so late. 

Mal tracked her gaze and self consciously tugged his sleeves lower in an attempt to cover up the marks. 

“Rough little stray huh?” she asked, trying to break this awkward silence that seemed to have formed.

Mal only hummed in response, and continued playing with his sleeves. Alina could feel the fox’s eyes watching the scene, and she felt a pressing need to prove that she and Mal were happy. 

“So, little bit of deja’vu right?” 

At this, Mal finally looked up to meet her gaze, but his brow was furrowed in confusion. “Deja’vu?”

“You know, like when you feel like you've done something befo-” 

“No, I know what deja’vu is,” he waved a dismissive hand through the air, “I just don't get why this situation should give me any.”

Now it was Alina’s turn to be confused. How could he not understand? Was he just being dense, or had he actually forgotten their most magical time together?

“Mal, this is where we had our first date!” she almost squeaked. “Well not here, but in this chain restaurant. It was the one in Portland, right across from the bakery you used to get all those croissants from.”

Something clouded over in Mal’s expression when she mentioned Portland, but Alina pretended not to notice. Mal cocked his head sideways, as if searching his brain, and finally said, “Oh yeah, I remember now, it just took me a minute because I've been here a few times since then.”

His words carried an unexpected sting for Alina. She thought of this restaurant as their special place, but it obviously didn't carry the same meaning for Mal if he came here on his own and barely remembered their first date.

Deciding to get off this topic, and go straight for her good news, Alina took a sip of her wine, and forced a wide smile.

“Sooo, guess what I got in the mail today?”

For the first time since he'd sat down, Mal looked genuinely curious. “What?”

She stared at Mal a moment longer, building the suspense. “Ok so a couple months ago, I applied to this program, and today I got the acceptance letter!”

Mal's eyes widened and he looked more excited than she had seen him in a long time. 

Alina was so happy that she practically bounced up and down in her seat. “I get to study abroad next semester! I could go to Paris and study art!”

Mal's breath hitched in his chest, and his face fell. Alina remembered the stranger’s words from earlier, I’ve never seen someone’s face fall quite so spectacularly.

“What?” Alina prodded carefully, “Do you think I should pick somewhere else? I don't know why you would, because Paris is by far the best city to study art in, bu-”

“Alina.” Mal interjected, in a voice so low and gravelly, she would almost call it a growl, “I came all the way from Portland to be with you, and I thought you were going to say you got accepted to an art school there and we could move back, but now you're just going to move to Paris for six months? Have you even thought about what I'm supposed to do?”

Alina couldn't control the look of utter shock and bewilderment that crossed her face. Of course she hadn't thought about what Mal would do- this was her life. She had assumed he would stay in Chicago, or maybe move back to Portland, or maybe even follow her to Paris, although she wasn't sure she wanted him to.

“Are we really back to this again?” she asked incredulously.

“Back to what again?”

“This bit where you act like I owe you something because you moved across the country for me. Well here's a newsflash for you Mal: I never asked you to do that!” 

A few people from the surrounding booths and tables turned to look at them, and Alina could feel the fox stranger watching as well. She briefly noticed that he was still sitting alone- his date must have stood him up. 

Mal's face was turning red now, and when he spoke, his voice was filled with more menace than she knew was possible. “You and I both know I didn't have a choice. If I had let you come to Chicago without me, you would have been banging Aleksander before you'd even unpacked your things!”

Alina heard a few small gasps from some of the other patrons, but she ignored them. “I told you there was nothing between Aleksander and I, but you just couldn't trust me! I never even went on a date with the guy- I turned him down! Honestly Mal, for someone who talks about what's fair so much, you don't seem to have a very good concept of it yourself!”

Mal scoffed and shook his head, chuckling bitterly to himself. “Oh I know why you want to do this study abroad thing,” he made sarcastic air quotations with his fingers and glowered at her, “I’d bet Aleksander’s going to Paris too isn't he?” 

That was it. 

Alina jumped to her feet, ignoring the sharp jab of pain as she banged her knees against the underside of the table, and slammed her hands down, palms flat, a foot away from Mal. She towered over him.

“For the love of saints! You act like I can't make any decisions about my future without it being based on who I want to fuck!” Alina quickly glanced around the restaurant, belatedly checking to make sure there were no children within earshot. 

Now, they definitely had the attention of every single person in the restaurant. 

“You know what Alina? I've had enough of you and your drama! If you go to Paris to ‘study abroad’ then don't bother coming back!”

Alina felt a tear spring to life and start to trickle out of her left eye. Was this it? Was this how she and Mal would end? He'd been by her side for her entire life- could she do it without him?

If you go to Paris, don’t bother coming back.

Alina blew out a shaky breath. Yes. She could do it without him. She could everything without him. Mal was holding her back. He was jealous at every turn, and never supportive.

Another tear trickled out of the same eye, and Alina swore under her breath. She swiped fiercely at her face, but only came away with makeup on her hands. So much for that run-free mascara. She would look like a mess when this was over.

Mal was still glowering at her, and Alina realized he was still waiting for her response to his ultimatum. 

She turned to stare directly into his blue eyes. “You’ve had enough of my drama Mal? I’ve had enough of your everything!” 

She knew it wasn't one of her best comebacks, but she barreled on through when he tried to interrupt her.

“You always think I'm cheating on you, but I've only ever had eyes for you! I gave you valentines when I was a kid, I flirted with you when I was a teenager, but you never looked at me twice until the day someone else asked me out! You're nothing but a jealous, hypocritical, narcissistic bastard!

Alina stopped for a second to catch her breath. Mal didn't try to say anything, and his face appeared stoic, as if he were lost in thought. She thought for a second maybe she was getting through to him.

She didn't even register her next words until they were out of her mouth. 

“And I won't miss you at all while I'm in Paris.” 

It came out of her as barely a whisper, but Mal heard it loud and clear, and in that instant, any semblance of calm shattered, and now he was standing too. He was only a few inches taller than her, but in that moment, Mal seemed to tower over her small frame. 

He stared at her for a long moment, seemingly trying to will her into changing her mind, but she held her ground and refused to break his gaze. 

With a bitter chuckle, Mal turned away, shaking his head. He started to leave the booth, but turned back, almost as an afterthought. He reached across the table and picked up Alina's half empty glass of red wine. For a second, Alina thought he was going to drink it, but when she felt the wet splash of the liquid across her front, she understood what he'd done.

“Don't come back to the apartment tonight.” Mal murmured, and without so much as another glance back, he sauntered out of the restaurant, and out of Alina's life.


	2. Can I keep him?

Alina stood in shock, staring down at the deepening wine stain on her dress. She pressed her eyes shut, trying to wrap her head around what had just happened, but she felt like she was underwater, and everything was blurry. 

Someone put their hand on her shoulder, and Alina’s mind snapped back into focus. Her vision however, remained blurry, and Alina swiped a hand across her eyes, clearing them of her tears. 

“Is there anything I can do?”

The voice. The fox-eyed stranger. She didn't know when he'd come to stand beside her, but as she looked up to meet his gaze, he reached around her and she felt the weight of his teal coat drop around her shoulders.

She stared down at the man’s gaudy teal coat hanging off her small frame. “Well,” she thought to herself, “At least no one will notice the wine stains while I'm wearing this monstrosity.”

“Can I call a cab for you?” 

She gave a little nod, and the man pulled out his phone. “I'll just be a minute.” He said, and walked back to his table to make the call.

Alina heaved a sigh, and rolled her shoulders a bit, trying to lose some of the tension she'd gathered during the fight.

As her fury at Mal started to throb a little less, and her shock began to wear off, Alina suddenly became acutely aware of the people still staring at her. People who had witnessed the entire scene.

She turned in a slow circle, meeting the eyes of every single observer. A large man with a raised brow. A businesswoman with concern etched across her features. Worst of all, an old woman with pity in her eyes. PITY. Alina had sworn to herself that she was done with pity the second she left foster care. 

A claustrophobic panic bloomed inside Alina, and she felt a desperate need to get away from this restaurant, away from these prying eyes.

She was ten paces outside the door when she remembered her wine. She hadn't paid for it, and it'd been expensive to match the happy news she had to share.

Alina started to turn back, and found herself face to face with the fox-eyed stranger. He was nearly a head taller than her, and he stopped abruptly to avoid running into her, runnning a hand through his hair.

“Sorry,” he murmured, “I was just coming out to tell you that the waiter said your wine is on the house.” 

Alina gave him an incredulous look.

He let his posture sag a bit, and he looked like a child caught with his hand in the cookie jar. “Okay so it wasn't on the house, but I paid for it, so it's taken care of.”

She set her jaw. “You didn't have to do that. You don't even know me. I'm paying you back.”

“No need. It's the least I could do. I tried to call you a cab too, but what can I say? It’s Chicago on a Saturday night.” He gave a sad shrug of his shoulders. “They said the wait is around 45 minutes. Is there a friend you want to call?”

Alina thought of Zoya and Genya. The two of them would most likely be holed up in their dorm, cramming for finals, and knowing Genya, this would be the first time she'd even opened her textbook. She couldn't ask one of them to drive halfway across the city right now. Maybe they wouldn't mind if she spent the night at their dorm though… she just had to find a way to get there.

“I can't call them to pick me up because they're busy, but if I wait for a taxi, I can crash at their place until I figure out what to do.”

“Are you kidding?” asked the stranger, “You can't wait here on a dark street corner for an hour. Do you know how dangerous that would be?”

Alina bristled a bit. “I thought you said the wait was 45 minutes.”

The stranger gave a shake of his head. “That's what THEY said it was, but everyone knows that's wishful thinking.”

“Well does it look like I have another option?” Alina sighed. She was completely worn out- both physically and emotionally. She just wanted to get home and drown her sorrows in ice cream.

“Let me give you a ride.” 

“I don't take rides from strangers. I don't even know your name.” 

The stranger looked surprised by this. His eyes gazed upward, and Alina could practically SEE him going over all their interactions looking for where he’d introduced himself. The man’s face exploded into mock surprise when he came up empty, and he extended his hand to her. 

“The name’s Nikolai. At your service.”

\----------------

Ten minutes later, Alina sat in the passenger side of Nikolai’s jeep. They didn't talk much, except for the occasional giving of directions from Alina, but she could tell he wanted to ask her a ton of questions about her relationship with Mal.

He was polite enough to pretend he couldn't tell she was crying when she turned her face away from him. Some part of her found it hilarious how scared he looked- she hadn't seen him less than confident since she'd met him- men truly didn't know what to do with crying women. Alina Starkov hated crying in front of people. It was another of her foster care rules- never show weakness- but she'd never see Nikolai again, and she'd been through a lot. It was time for a break. 

She had been wary of getting in a car with Nikolai in the first place. He seemed a bit odd, but he'd been kind to her so far. Even then, the sensible part of her had known she should take SOME steps to make sure the night didn't end with her locked in a dark basement, or buried in a shallow grave.

Alina had settled for texting Zoya.

<< Hey Zoya  
>> What do you want  
<< Long story, but Mal and I broke up, and I'm getting a ride home from a guy at the restaurant  
<< Here's a pic of him and his car. If I don't show up in 30 min, take the pics to the police.

…

>> ooh he's hot  
>> can I keep him?  
<< Zoya…  
>> fine I'll keep an eye out for you and make sure u don't get murdered or whatever  
<< love you too Zoya <3

\-------

As Nikolai pulled up in front of the dorms attached to the physics building, he paused. “So your friend studies physics? What about you?”

“Oh I'm an art student.”

He said nothing in return

An awkward silence fell between them.

Alina shifted uncomfortably, before saying in a hurried voice, “thankssomuchfordrivingmehome.” 

Nikolai's lips quirked up at her high pitched voice, and Alina felt like a teenager again, always managing to embarrass herself in front of boys.

After staring into Nikolai’s hazel eyes for a beat too long, Alina jerked her head toward the dorm building behind her. “I… should get inside. Thanks again.” She had her hand on the door of the building, ready to buzz Zoya and Genya’s dorm, when she realized she was still wearing Nikolai’s flamboyant coat. 

Alina turned around to call out to him, and was surprised to find him still standing by his jeep, watching her intently. 

“Uh, I still have your coat!”

She didn't miss the grin that flashed across Nikolai’s features when he said confidently, “Keep it. You can give it back to me some other time.”

He tipped an imaginary hat in her direction, and swung himself into the front seat of his jeep. 

Alina didn't plan on seeing him again, but she would've watched him drive away until all she could see were his tail lights. Unfortunately, at that moment, she saw a flash of auburn hair on the other side of the door. She turned around to greet Genya and thank her for coming to let her into the building.

Standing in the outdated entryway of the dorm building, Genya immediately pulled her into a tight hug. “What happened with Mal? Are you alright?”

Alina could hear the concern threaded through her friend’s voice. “I'll tell you everything once I've got some ice cream into me, but I'm okay.”

Genya squeezed her tighter, then let her go and motioned for Alina to follow her upstairs to her dorm. 

Alina glanced back over her shoulder, but Nikolai’s car was already out of view.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Sorry this chapter took so long to post! I thought it would only be a few days, but life got really busy, and just when I was starting to have more free time, I got sick. :) 
> 
> Please leave a comment to let me know what you think! They keep me motivated and always make my day.:D thanks for reading.


	3. Movies and glum

Alina woke to the sounds of shuffling feet and closing doors. She cracked an eye open just far enough to see Genya madly throwing things into her bag, no doubt late for her final. She started to get up off the couch to help, but Genya just waved her back down. “Help yourself to whatever's in the fridge.” she said hurriedly, “Feel free to watch TV, just nothing above channel 700 because those cost money.”

Alina only nodded and wished her luck on her exams. She glanced at her watch and gaped at the time. It was well past eight in the morning. She couldn't remember the last time she'd woken up later than five. She loved the peaceful time she got to herself before Mal lumbered out of bed.

She glanced over toward the doorway, and watched Genya as she attempted to put on her jacket, shoes, and backpack at the same time. Alina darted up off the sofa and grabbed Genya’s oddly shaped water bottle off the counter. 

“Thanks.” Genya breathed, while Alina helped her wrestle the enormous backpack onto her shoulders. 

Alina pulled her friend close for a hug, squeezing tightly for almost ten seconds. She could feel Genya's rapid heartrate starting to relax. 

“Hey.” she murmured. “You’re gonna kick this test’s ass.”

 

Genya let out a small laugh against Alina’s hair. “I sure hope so.” 

After Genya left, Alina rummaged through the fridge. Nothing but herring. “Gosh, what do these girls live on?” Alina thought to herself.

As she weighed her options- eat the herring, or brave the outdoors for something better- she took the chance to really look around. She'd been too distracted to care last night, but she'd never been inside the dorm Zoya and Genya shared before.

In truth, it was closer to an apartment than a dorm- it had a substantial main room that included a kitchen, breakfast nook, and living area, off of which there were three doors. Alina cautiously opened one of them, revealing a small bathroom. The others must be Genya and Zoya’s bedrooms. 

Alina returned to her breakfast dilemma, and after surprising little more thought, looked out the window in search of a breakfast cafe. She didn't see any, but she was confident there were at least 4 within a two-mile radius. This was a college campus after all.

Alina put her hair up in a ponytail.She was wearing an outfit completely made up of clothes borrowed from Genya and Zoya. She would have to retrieve her belongings at some point, but her fight with Mal was a bit too fresh in her mind to think about it at the moment.

She made the long trek down the stairs- she'd never been a fan of elevators- and marched through the lobby of the dorm building. 

Alina hummed a tune to herself, completely out of key, but stopped short three feet away from the door. On the other side of the glass, she could see a small cooler with her name scrawled across one side of it.

Cautiously, she made her way to the door, brought the cooler inside, and opened it. Alina wasn't sure what she was expecting, but a tub of ice cream, a note, and a DVD of the movie “Legally Blonde” wasn't it. 

Thoroughly perplexed, Alina turned the piece of paper over in her hands.

\---

Hey Alina, I hope this isn't too weird or anything, but I know how hard breakups can be, so I decided to swing by with a tub of ice cream and a movie for you. I've had my fair share of bad breakups, but yours looked…. particularly bad. I hope you’re not lactose intolerant or something. If you need help with anything (ex. beating the crap outta that dude) feel free to let me know. 

-Nikolai (555-7285)

\---

Alina stood in silence for a minute that stretched on. She couldn't figure out how to feel about this gift. Sad because it reminded her of Mal? Happy because the fox-eyed stranger thought of her again? Disappointed because she hadn't seen him face to face? Nikolai was turning out to be quite the thoughtful guy.

She eventually settled on grateful because it dawned on her that if she had left the dorm to go find a cafe as she had planned, she would've been locked out all day, as she didn't have a key to re-enter the dorm building. As an added bonus, she now had an excuse to eat a tub of ice cream for breakfast. 

\--- 

Back inside Zoya and Genya’s dorm, Alina popped the DVD from its case and slid it into the player. Obviously, Alina hadn't told Nikolai she worked in a movie theater.

Alina had seen “Legally Blonde” at least half a dozen times in the past, so she could already tell why Nikolai had picked it. The movie was about a girl who decides to go to law school in order to be worthy of a guy she likes, and in the process, discovers that she is a really good lawyer. She also finds a better guy whom she likes more, and pretty much tells the original guy he can suck it.

All around, a very empowering movie.

\---

When the credits rolled, Alina flipped through Netflix until she found another movie. 

This was how Zoya found her when she returned after her day of finals- eating ice cream directly from the tub while watching an endless stream of movies. Without a word, she grabbed a spoon and flopped down beside Alina on the couch, pulling the ice cream to sit between them.

\---

Alina returned to her part-time job at the dine-in movie theater the next day. She was one of two people in charge of delivering food to the customers while they watched, but once the movie began, people hardly ordered food anymore, so Alina and her coworker, Alexei, could sneak into the back of the theater and watch the movie. 

Alexei was substantially younger than Alina, and she often thought of him like a little brother. However, she'd known for awhile now that he had a bit of a crush on her. She could tell by the red flushes of his face every time they talked, and the stutter in his voice that was nonexistent when he talked to others. Alina had to admit he was cute- for a 15-year old, in an acne and voice-crack kind of way- but as she was in her fourth year of college, she considered herself WAY out of Alexei’s league. She had even tried (unsuccessfully) to play matchmaker for Alexei and get him interested in the other girls his age, but he seemed oblivious to her attempts.

Today, he must have sensed her change in mood, because when her shift was over he called her name. Alina turned around just in time to see a package of skittles sailing through the air toward her.

“Come on Alina, cheer up!” he shouted, throwing his arms above his head in a comical way, “Taste the rainbow!” 

Alina burst out laughing, and she had to admit that it felt good to smile again. Unfortunately, it didn't last.

When she returned to the dorm, she went directly to the couch to join Zoya in watching even more movies.

\---

After four days in a row of watching her roommates waste away in front of the TV Genya finally snapped.

She stormed over to the table and snatched the remote away before Alina or Zoya could even think to make a grab for it. 

“What is going on with you two?” Genya asked

Zoya gave an apathetic shrug, and Alina gave Genya a pointed look.

“Okay I know what's bothering Alina, but what crawled up YOUR ass Zoya?

The raven-haired girl rolled her eyes and groaned. “I fucked up my finals.”

Genya and Alina’s eyes widened and Alina took a sharp breath. “You should’ve told me.”

Zoya licked her lips before replying, “It's none of your business.”

“It's all of our business!” cried Genya. “I would've tried to make you feel bet-”

“That-” Zoya waved a hand through the air, “is exactly why I didn't tell you.”

Genya paused for a minute, seemingly at a loss for words. Then, all at once, her face lit up. “I know what we need!” she exclaimed, “It's time for a dance party!”

Beside Alina, Zoya let out a groan. "Not this again."

Genya grabbed her phone and began swiping at the screen furiously, looking for the perfect song. She finally settled on “Party in the USA” by Miley Cyrus.

Her auburn mane of hair seemed to dance and swirl around her of its own accord as she threw her arms in the air and swayed her hips. She made her way over to where Alina still reclined on the sofa and hauled her to her feet. 

Gradually, Alina began to dance. Just a little bit at first, but soon she was just as enthusiastic as Genya.

Across the room, Zoya still watched them from the couch with an air of incredulity. 

Genya passed her phone to Alina with instructions to pick a song, and Alina went straight for her favorite. Soon, the sounds of “I’m Walking on Sunshine” filled the room.

“Come on Zoya!” Alina called, fighting to be heard above the music. Zoya just rolled her eyes, but an almost imperceptible smile tugged at her lips.

After several more songs worth of prodding, Zoya finally stood up and joined the fun. She danced slowly at first- so slow it was borderline sarcastic- but picked up the pace with every song until she was out of control. 

Alina stopped dancing for a moment to catch her breath, and she watched her friend in amazement. Zoya didn't seem to know what to do with her arms and legs, but her fierce energy made up for what she lacked in finesse. 

Just as Alina was starting to dance again, there was a loud knock on the door.

They all paused, looking at each other, the silent question of what to do hanging in the air. Alina just waved at Zoya and Genya to keep dancing and went to answer the door.

Still swaying her hips a bit, Alina swung to door wide open and froze. Her heart stopped, and her eyes went wide. 

Standing before her, looking almost as surprised to see her as she was to see him, was someone she hadn't seen in a year and a half.

Aleksander Morosova in the flesh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hooray! I finished another chapter! *does victory dance*
> 
> For anyone who was wondering, the dance party done by Genya, Alina, and Zoya is inspired by Grey's Anatomy. Any of you watch that show?
> 
> You can look forward to some Aleksander in the next chapter... maybe a bit of Nikolai too.
> 
> Please leave a comment to let me know what you think! They keep me motivated and always make me a happy camper. ;)


	4. Señor Darkling

The music receded into the background, and an audible gasp left Alina’s lips. She saw surprise flash across Aleksander’s face too, followed by something else that passed too quickly to see. He'd always been good at masking his emotions- too good. It'd had been partly why she'd rejected him when he'd asked her out…. that and her infatuation with Mal.

Alina knew the exact moment when Aleksander regained control of his face and cloaked it in his usual impassive mask. Without acknowledging her, he surveyed the dorm, taking in Genya and her cupcake pajamas, as well as Zoya, whose hair was a wild tangle from days of self-pity.

When his eyes finally circled back around and settled on Alina again, she nearly wilted under their intensity. 

“Alina.” He murmured, nodding his head to her.

Alina said nothing, but managed to shut her gaping mouth.

For a silent moment, the two of them just stared at each other, unspoken thoughts, swirling around them in a cloud.

From somewhere behind them, Genya cleared her throat loudly, and all of a sudden the music from the dance party rushed back in. Aleksander visibly snapped out of the moment, and turned to face Genya, who was looking rather pleased with herself.

“Was there something you wanted Señor Darkling?”

Aleksander bristled at the nickname, and gave a short grunt. “Actually I came down here to inform you of several noise complaints against your,” he took another appraising look around, “dance party.”

Alina had never heard such a happy phrase as “dance party” uttered with less pleasure or enthusiasm, but if there were ever a person for the job….

Seeming to find her corporeal state again, Alina jabbed a finger toward Aleksander’s chest. “And how would you know about noise complaints? You’re probably the only one who can even hear the music!”

Unfazed, Aleksander spoke slowly, and with more enunciation than necessary, as if he were talking to an unruly child. “Because I. Am. The head. Of. Dorm.”

Alina’a mouth made a little “oh” and she was at a loss for words. Of course he was the head of dorm. Why didn't she expect this? She knew he went to college in Chicago, and she knew he was filthy rich- but what were the chances?

Aleksander was drawn to power wherever he went. In high school, he’d campaigned furiously for student body president, only to lose a close race because he couldn't shake the labels like dark, aloof, and brooding. 

It was Zoya who spoke next: words seeming to drip out of her mouth like a leaky faucet, punctuated with loud hiccups “Fine, we’ll turn the music down a little. Is that all?” 

Alina realized belatedly that her friend was very drunk. By the slur in her voice, and the unsteadiness of her posture, Zoya looked like she might have a fair share of trouble navigating across the room to the stereo.

Aleksander either didn't notice or didn't care- though Alina was well aware of how few things eluded his powers of observation- for he seemed satisfied. With a final glance around, he reached forward to grasp the door handle and pull it shut behind him, but another interjection from Zoya stopped him midway.

“A lil antisocial don't ya think?” She reared after him. “Darkling really fits ya know?”

Aleksander’s face contorted for a second, as if warring with himself. His hand was still on the door handle, ready to pull it the rest of the way shut, or push it all of the way open.

 

He clenched his jaw, then, without moving his hand from the doorknob, rolled his eyes and very sarcastically said “How was your day Alina?”

She wasn't sure whether he wanted an answer or if was just trying to prove how social he could be, but Alina answered him anyway. “It was kind of shitty, but also kind of alright” 

When Aleksander only stared at her impassively, she added “Señor Darkling.” 

With no reaction to his hated nickname, Aleksander continued his sarcastic smalltalk. “And how do you enjoy art school?”

“I love it. I'm near the top of my class, and just the other day I got an invitation to study in Paris!”

“Mhm. Does that mean Mal will stay here?”

At this, Alina's smile faltered, and behind her, Genya stiffened, getting ready to interrupt with a change of subjects. She came up to stand next to Alina and turned to Aleksander. “I think it's time for you to-”

“We broke up.”

Alina said it quietly, but for her, the impact was the loudest sound in the world. Saying it to her friends had been one thing, but saying it to Aleksander- it made it real.

Aleksander was the first to speak after that. “Alina I'm….. sorry.” 

His mouth had a hard time forming the word, like it was the first time he'd ever said it.

“You know what? Don't be. Mal was a terrible boyfriend and I'm glad he's gone. He can go die in a ditch for all I care.”

Aleksander’s face twitched, trying to formulate a response. Finally, he said, “Let’s discuss our mutual hatred of Mal over lunch tomorrow. I'll pick you up at 11.”

Alina’s eyes nearly bugged out of her head and her jaw was hanging on for dear life, but before she could object, he'd shut the door and was gone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this ones so short guys! I haven't posted anything in awhile, and I just wanted to make sure nobody thought this fic was dead :) also I reread that last chapter and realized that cliffhanger was kind of cruel to leave for that long... sorry :^)
> 
> Next chapter is in the works, should be much more exciting (maybe, hopefully, we'll see)


	5. Ready

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, so I guess here's where Aleksander takes Alina on a date with the purpose of discussing their mutual hatred of Mal and neither of them ever say his name a single time. Srsly... he's not mentioned in the chapter once.

Alina was fuming. The nerve of that man. So what if he had the most perfectly chiseled face in the world or the deepest silver eyes? That didn't give him the right to order her to lunch with him! She should do something to spite him- maybe egg his car when he showed up? Nope, scratch that they didn’t have any eggs. Give him a different address to pick her up at and then not be there? No, Aleksander was too smart for that, and even if he weren’t, he’d figure it out eventually. 

Never mind, she’d leave the payback for another time.  
\-----  
The knock sounded on the apartment door at exactly 10:30am. 

Damn him. The bastard had purposely arrived a half an hour early.

Well, he would just have to wait. Alina had planned out her morning routine to a very specific schedule (mostly coffee and channel surfing but he didn’t need to know that) and and she refused to waiver from it.

She could tell he was still out there because of his continuous, monotonous knocking, but  
he didn’t sound angry, just like he was trying to irritate her. Alina knew he could hear her switching the channels on her tv, but nevertheless, the knocking persisted.

Around 10:45, when Alina finally decided to get out of her pajamas and get ready, she realized that she had no idea what the plans were. Aleksander had never specified anything. Knowing him though, it would probably be lunch in the fanciest restaurant in town. Searching through Genya’s closet, she settled on a casual dress and sandals. As usual, she wore no makeup.

At exactly 11:00am, Alina opened the door. Aleksander stood on the other side, hand still poised in the air to knock again. She was suddenly glad she hadn’t dressed too fancy, as Aleksander himself was wearing fitted black jeans and a black hoodie that seemed out of place with his personality.

When they got to his car, Aleksander walked around the passenger side and held the door open for Alina. Aleksander was oblivious to the fact that he’d only opened the door about a foot wide- not nearly enough space for Alina to gracefully sit down. There was an awkward moment where she slowly reached for the door handle and pulled it open farther. Still not noticing, Aleksander walked around to the driver’s side and got in.

Ten minutes later in the middle of a street, Aleksander pulled over suddenly, parked and got out of the car. Alina looked around in confusion. There were no restaurants around here. This was mostly a commercial area. What were they doing here? When she asked Aleksander, he held up a hand.

“Wait for it.”

Alina furrowed her brow and looked up and down the street. There were almost no other cars parked here. Only a few people walked the sidewalks on either side. 

Less than thirty seconds later, a food truck rumbled down the street and parked. It was almost entirely black save a few neon highlights and letters. Alina noticed that people all around them on each side of the street started whispering to each other and gesturing towards the truck excitedly. Then, as if the food truck had gravitational pull, people flocked to it. Aleksander looked down at Alina and smiled. He took her hand and they jogged lightly to stand in front of the closed window of the truck. The other people formed a line behind them.

A young woman with striking black waves with a neon blue streak of hair pushed up the order window in the food truck and set about preparing things to be cooked. She stopped short when she saw Aleksander, her plastered smile turning into a smirk.

“Baby brother!” she exclaimed. “What brings you to my humble domain?”

Aleksander chuckled, and it caught Alina off guard. She’d never pictured him with a sister, but the resemblance was amazing. His relaxed demeanor with his sister was a completely new side to his usual brooding self. 

“My friend Alina would like to try some of your famous doughnuts. Alina, this is Bee, my older sister. Bee, this is Alina.”  
Bee’s silver eyes lingered on Alina with an expression that Alina couldn’t quite place. Protectiveness? Wariness? Judgement?   
Aleksander cleared his throat. “She doesn’t bite, Bee. You don’t have to play the overprotective big sister here. I can handle myself.”

Bee shot him a smile, hesitated for a second, then leaned out the window and extended her hand to Alina. “Pleased to meet you.”

“You too.” Alina tried to smile her best smile for this girl, but if Bee noticed, it didn’t show.

“I’ll be right back with your doughnuts.” said Bee, and then bustled off to the back of the truck.

Alina turned to Aleksander, questions in her eyes. “I didn’t order yet. How is she going to make doughnuts? Then the second round of questions: Did she know we were coming? Did she even know I existed? How come I never knew you had a sister?”

“Well, I never told you I had a sister because you never asked. As I recall, you weren’t interested in much to do with me in high school.” Alina winced at the edge in his voice. “Bee knew you existed because of back then, but she probably didn’t connect you to that yet.”

He reached an arm behind his head and scratched uncertainly at the back of his neck. “Bee’s been bugging me for years to come out and see her food truck- she’s really proud of it- so I guess she knew I would come eventually, but not specifically today.

“And my order?” asked Alina

“Oh that’s just how Bee does things. It’s kind of what she’s famous for. She’s very good at reading people, so she makes doughnuts based on what she thinks you’ll like.” Grudgingly he admitted, “So far she’s never been wrong.”

At that, Bee came back into view holding two boxes, which she handed down to them. Aleksander held out money to her, but she waved it away. “I appreciate it little bro, but you know I’m not going to charge you. Go enjoy your doughnut date. Catch up later.”

As Bee waved goodbye to them and tended to the ever-growing line, Aleksander led them down a side street to a small cafe with outdoor tables. He ordered a couple of drinks and sat down. 

“How did you know she’d be here at this time today?” 

“Let’s call it a lucky guess.” He smirked. “Actually we have a shared documents drive across our computers, and that’s where she keep all of her spreadsheets and schedules.”

Alina laughed a little. “Pretty ingenious. You could probably sell all of that data with how popular she is.”  
For a second, Aleksander looked like he was seriously considering it, before he shook his head. “She would actually kill me. She operates her truck without telling people her schedule so that people feel lucky when she stops close by. I couldn’t take that away from her.”

Alina smiled. “I was just kidding.” She opened the box to find two lemon eclairs with sprinkles. She’d never had an eclair, or a lemon pastry, but she had no doubt she’d enjoy them. 

Across from her, Aleksander lifted the lid of his own box and let out an uncharacteristic snort. At first, Alina thought he’d sneezed. He continued staring at his box and smirking until Alina leaned over to look. Inside were four double dark chocolate donut holes glazed black.

“What’s funny?” she asked, as Aleksander calmed down.

“I’m sorry, Bee just knows me so well.”

“I don’t understand.”

“These are black donut holes. I’m an astronomy major. With a special interest in black holes.”

Alina smiled. Aleksander and his sister seemed really sweet to each other.

“Hey speaking of which, you said you were an art major right?” he said.

“Umm, yeah.”

“What’s your favorite thing to paint?”

Alina didn’t even have to think about it. “Stars. But not like in the night sky. I like to paint them as they look in the context of the galaxy. Supernovas and stuff. They’re absolutely magnificent.”

“Any particular reason to paint stars or just because they look cool?”

This put Alina on the defensive. “Even if it was just because they’re pretty, that would still be a fine enough reason.”

“True.” he conceded, “But really, why stars?”

“I’m not sure. I think maybe because they’re kind of a metaphor. Throughout history, we’ve used them to help us find our way and tell time. The sun is what makes life on Earth possible. And-” she smiled wistfully and conceded, “They’re beautiful.”  
Aleksander looked thoughtful for a moment before replying. “So what does it mean for your metaphor that all stars and galaxies orbit black holes- the epitome of darkness?”

For a second, Alina had no idea what to say. She had never considered it before. Thankfully, words found their way into her brain. “If you’re trying to tell me that darkness beats light because all stars will eventually be sucked into a black hole, you’re not wrong.” She stared into his eyes. “But in a metaphorical sense, we ARE the stars. We’re all going to die someday, and when we do, the people around us are going to hurt like hell. But like stars, the important thing isn’t the ending, it’s all about living vibrantly and leaving an impact.

Aleksander looked stoic for a moment, then without warning, Aleksander leaned across the table and kissed her. Alina froze, unable to do anything but sit and be kissed. Kiss him back! Shouted a voice in her head, but just as she was ready to listen, Aleksander pulled away looking dejected.

“Alina I-”

“Why did you do that?”

He looked surprised, then dejected again. “I’m sorry, I just- you were talking, and you were so amazing-” he trailed off. He looked like a lost child. It was a rare glimpse of him without his mask.

“I’m sorry.” Alina said, “It wasn’t that I didn’t like it, you just caught me off guard. It was so unexpected. I wasn’t ready.” She was ramblinig now, trying to make him feel better, but it was too late. She watched as the mask of indifference fell across Aleksander’s features once more.

The waiter from the cafe came by and kindly told them that if they weren’t going to order anything, he needed the table for the lunch rush. Alina nodded to Aleksander, and they grabbed their things and walked back to his car.  
\---  
When they pulled up in front of the dorms, Aleksander said he had somewhere else he needed to be, so he would just be dropping her off. Alina felt the sudden need to stay. She didn’t want to go back into her dorm and wallow with Zoya or face Genya’s interrogation about her date with Aleksander.

He was facing away from her, though Alina wasn’t sure whether it was just chance, or because he didn’t want to watch her walk away from him. “Hey,” she said, putting a hand on his neck, “I think I’m ready now.” 

Aleksander turned toward her, his features still wary, but his eyes had a shine of hope in them. He watched her for a moment, not giving away anything, then pulled   
her in for a kiss. 

Alina could feel how much he’d wanted to do this since eleventh grade, how long he’d waited. His kiss was needy, threaded through with an undercurrent of desire. His lips pressed hard against her own, prodding with his tongue for her mouth to open. When they finally came up for air, he wasted no time in trailing burning kisses across her jaw. Alina shuddered.

When his hands reached for her shirt, something in her snapped awake. She flung a hand down to stop him.  
All at once, Aleksander paused. He looked up at her with hardened eyes. “You said you were ready.”

Pulling completely apart from him, Alina sighed. “Saints Aleksander, I meant ready for a kiss, not- that. It’s too soon on so many levels.”  
Aleksander clenched his jaw. “It’s alright, I’m a patient man.”

When he didn’t say anything else, she got out of the car and headed toward the dorms to wallow with Zoya.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think? Does this need to get rated mature? I don't rly plan on writing smut bc reasons, but it might get implied at some point. What's the line between teen and mature? Anyway, hope you enjoyed that. I initially planned for this chapter to include a lot more of the plot than a single date, but I suck at planning this stuff so the fight (oops did I say that xD) will have to wait until next chapter. Don't forget to leave a comment!

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! This is my first time writing anything for other people to read, and writing with other people'a characters. I hope I did them justice. Pls let me know what you think of my writing along with any tips you might have for me! Thanks for reading! Comments and/or constructive criticism are always appreciated- no hard feelings at all!


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